Dear Tenants living in our condo in Jacksonville,
We were under the impression that you were a happy Navy family with a brand new baby, yet we are having some issues and have a few requests we need you to pay attention to:
Please do not be jerks throwing parties in our amazing beautiful condo. Do not piss off our neighbors (the ones we liked and the ones we didn't). Do not run over light poles in the neighborhood (how do you even manage to do that?). Do not ruin any upgrades we put in the condo before your sorry butts got there. Do not be idiots, be grown ups. Your cooperation in Jacksonville will ensure the sanity of my husband and I in Knoxville. And keep in mind, no matter how much of a pain in the ass it would be for us, we can replace you at any time.
(a.k.a the pissed off landlord)